dont know what to say, do, act or feeel

numb

tonight was just a pile of shit.... yes yes it was fucking yeah pissed off now to hell

should i get my hair cut again, i am bored with it, the going blonde made me un sick of it for a while but now i want it cut again but its rather short lol

Its my last night in american...i dont want to leave....i want to stay....i feel in my head that it not time to leave but have to

need to stop being a lazy arse and get it sorted !!!!!!

also new laptop ness so that one less thing to blame the slowness on dammmm

she still trying to fuck with my head but i am not lettin her now

ohh i need a opertaion on my mouth :-( so not having it yet lol seein how thing pan on in the gum line lo

well things are going pretty sort off all right, me and sam are now offically together fully and thats good scary tho but good, her house matre keeps saying shit to her and me about each other but thankful we know what her game is and we know not to belive it lol off to manchester this weekend with her to meet her bestie mate from south africa so that s little scary on my part!!!

off to see mika on monday and kelly clarson later nect year ohh yea yea

errrrmm been gong out getttin drunken fun

uni work im think i am on top off for once and thats okies

family and mates are mint

im skint but thats life

the only shit thing is that i dont kbnow what to do tis summer camp i think is at top off my list (wait that a lie top off my list i cant do as i have nomoney to do it but it would be to go to south africa and work on a programme called healing with horses but sont want to as it winter there and all that jazzzzz) so efo camp at top off list follwed by maybes a trek off america off a road trip as i want to see lots off the place so hey hey !!!!!!!!!

Ohh im having a thanksgivin dinner tonight so that will be fun fun not a propper one just a little one that i want so turkey, mash, stuffing and yorkshire pudding and roasties heeheee im so talented well if i can suck sam can cook and do the washing up as i just sed i have her well trained lol

mawhh later

xx

just a short as i want to vent, been thinking about the past too much latey i think its because it comin up to the point in the year what i am dreading, i know i cant cope with it and put it too the back off my head and not thought off it for the last 11 and half months and its coming around so fast meh meh not a good idea to read back over jouranl form this time ofyear for last year!! just so faded and gone and real, should i be feeling this now or before now!!

ohh well in other parts of my life, beeen living it large and working hard in boro, halls are fun and also finding fun with a cute south african girly ohh yeah!!!!!

right im off to read some law work as i am too wide away

moving tomorrow (monday) just over to boro but it feel like a it will take forever, well prob cos i still done no shopping or packin ohh well just move the boxes in and then on tuesday i can unpaack

fun night was friday night well until 4am sat morning when i had the nasty toothach well went to the emg dentis who was a cow bag and she pulled it out but has left half the tooth in, so with the moving out tomorrow i am also trying to see my nice dentis who should sort it i am hoping lots and lots and lots heehee

Disney family holiday is not happening now :'( but the reason it is off is cos my sister in law is having another baby !! hehee cant wait me sean going to have a little sister or brother to play with !!!

Move to boro on monday!!!

RAN = Ramdon ass night --- yup that was friday night wait friday day, ohh simpson movie is good i was shocked as i am not a hugh fan lol yeah but friday was a ramdon as night, need another one but wont hav one for a few weeks now!! ohh this time next week i be at sea ohh shitty im scared but will have just spent the day in north africa and prob be now sailing to the next ort off call ohh yeah yeah!!! fuck yeah this girl is a defo a girl today and bought a fuckin dress yeah a dress could be a funny looking dinner with me in adress but hey!!!! Ohh hair is nearly at the lengh for the style i want hahaha might even do a colour job as well but not too sure hahaha mmmmmm what else nothing i dont think hahaha i want to sleep but just cant lol

ohhh im moving on the 17th off spet, yup moving out off mother house (again ) but this time so far away lol yeah more like down the road a max off 10 mins haha but will be good to have the freedom i love and just the banter off awaynesss but i will still be returning most days for the free meals and washin!!! mmmm might go and play some d/s but not too sure mmmmmm should have gone out tonight i thinking now mmmmmm way too late meh i have the going out bug now hahaha sleep mind sleeep !!!!

ohh more pic added on myspace a watercam and some family pic wil be added more in teh next few days :-D

So i been back from the DR a while now, the parts off me that where broken one is about 99% fixed and the other the leg i think might literally still be broken and in need off a doctor but hey i dont like them so i wont lol!!

So its not even the end summer yet and i am thinking bout summer 2008, really want to go back to the USA to work on a camp, yep camp, not sure weather to go back to the old or try out new so whos nose all help is welcomed...

well not have had any good night out that much, stopped going out monda, tues and sat cos it so much less hassle, been out drunkenly on friday and been having some bad ass drunk night.. lol

well takin sean away for three days in a few weeks then when we come back me and mammy are off around the med on a cruise to get away from the drama off the last year lol

aww at the present having the best time chattin to rach on the phone it just so ramdon

well next easter time next year thinking off going off to Fl and hav just hav asked rachel to come heeheee willl be all fun!!

ohh well wont leave it so long and give lots more gossip the next time !!

x

well my summer fun is over and it so weird to be back and i am missing not having to put the loo roll in a bin and also chicken rice and beans lol well i thik i have came back broken in more ways then one but time is all that is need to fix them both!!!

well i miss u ya and cant wait for a chatch up !!!!

xx

well there is less than a month before i go and build houses, teach english, do food runs, and play with kids all at the same time woah i cant wait there is only a few things that u have to do so im making a livejournal check list
+sort of room
+exams
+CSI work (for next thursday)
+FInal FLING ohh yes june the 8th cant wait me
+sort out job at uni
+shopping for the domican

i think thats all but i am sure there is loads more that i just cant think off but like normal before travels i be running around like a headless chicken and packing hours beofre i leave lol always the best way i thinks

ohhh clares had a taste off her own mind, the 18 year has turned around and sed she has a gf lol

nah the friend thing dose work well as we get on, someimes i think it would be easier to hate her but i we want to be friend as we have some good crack together lol

u ring me when drunk and tell me things i dont want to hear (should hear them but i dont want to know about a 18 year girl u going for a drink with) ....so not alright

just want to say how mint my mates are, i not seen them in a few days but know that if i need them they wouldbe there!!!!

Cant wait me domican soon, it gettin soon as i been bying things for it !!! heeheee

ohhh what else is new errrm nothing

ohhh we had a fire last night, well not too sure when but came home and the garden planterns are no more the the basket on the wall are now black and melted and stuck to the wall heehee


another note im hapy at the mo, no ties, no girls, no nothing just good to be gettin back to the good old single me , who i love to bee

i think i am selfish really cant be bothered with ppl expect mtaes

xx

i dont remember parts off last night the parts i rmeber can get out off my head i want to rmeber the bad part so i know why it liek this today

ohh Happy birthday to me yah right, more like saddy birthday, gutted meh meh meh meh

a little phone at the early hours can make a girl all smiley and full of the springs off joy!

Fuckin gutted i am.

do i just attracted them

yeah

lets life the single life to the full

i have the best girlfriend in the world FACT

yup i saw my new car today, it was all placed away in the back off the showroom just waiting from the dvla sort of my plates !!! eeeeekk

alton towers 18th arpil who coming